A Person I Met Randomly That Has Had An Impact...
I've struggled with this prompt. I've spent days thinking about it, periodically racking my brain for one person who has made a significant impact. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest accomplishment, or the smallest act of compassion, all of which have the power to turn a life around. To make a difference. To be a catalyst.
All of these people have impacted my life and all were met randomly. Whether it was a chance encounter, twist of fate, or because I needed to fill a spot in my school schedule, I am thankful for sharing a portion of my life with them or having them still being a presence in my life.
However, the one person who has impacted me most profoundly has got to be me...or the most recent version of my current self. I know what you're thinking..."I misread that." You might even be thinking I'm extremely egotistical and a narcissist. That's OK...it's a free country after all.
- The story about my oldest friend letting me borrow a pen in 7th grade and said pen leaking ink all over me & my stuff.
- The story about my old Journalism teacher who treated me like an adult for the first time in my life, fully knowing I wasn't. How he went out of his way to secure a full-ride scholarship because he saw my potential and didn't want it wasted.
- The story of my old Speech & Debate teacher who taught me to question those in authority and always have an opinion...even if that opinion contradicts social norms.
- The story of a dear friend, who trained me my first night bar tending because my original trainer got hammered drunk, being diagnosed with MS at the age of 22...the story about how she is the epitome of strength and hope.
All of these people have impacted my life and all were met randomly. Whether it was a chance encounter, twist of fate, or because I needed to fill a spot in my school schedule, I am thankful for sharing a portion of my life with them or having them still being a presence in my life.
However, the one person who has impacted me most profoundly has got to be me...or the most recent version of my current self. I know what you're thinking..."I misread that." You might even be thinking I'm extremely egotistical and a narcissist. That's OK...it's a free country after all.
I don't think this prompt was meant to be interrupted this way, but let's be honest...this isn't the first time I haven't done the straight-forward approach to these prompts.
I think there is a fluidity to personal evolution. Personal growth is important and essential to making the most out of the time we have and to the relationships we foster. I have had many reincarnations throughout my 30 plus years. My most recent is a result of ending my marriage and beginning a life as single mother. As I look back, I don't know how I did it. How I managed to pick myself up and keep going when all I wanted to do was shut down and wallow. How I cried late at night and became far too talented at silent weeping in order to shield my daughter. How I lied & pretended to my family about just how low I was. I've been completely broken like this only one other time in my life. Both times have been at the hands of men I thought loved me...men who in the end betrayed. Men who shattered my life and left without giving a single fuck about where the pieces of me landed.
We have all hurt someone tremendously, whether by intent or by accident. We have all loved someone tremendously, whether by intent or by accident. It is an intrinsic human trait, and a deep responsibility, I think, to be both a heart and a blade. But, learning to forgive ourselves and others because we have not chosen wisely is what makes us most human. We make horrible mistakes...its how we learn. We breathe love...its how we learn. I was the type of person who held onto things too tightly, unable to release my grip when it no longer felt right. And although it gave me blisters and my fingers began to ache, I always thought that holding on was the was worth the pain. I used to think that in losing things, I'd lose a part of me as well. That slowly I would become someone my heart no longer recognized. Then one day something happened, I dropped the weight of what I had once held dear, and my soul became lighter, freer. It taught my heart that some things aren't meant to last. They arrive to teach you lessons and then continue on. You don't have to cling to people who no longer make you happy or do something you've come to hate if it isn't worth your while. That sometimes the thing you're fighting for isn't worth the cost because not everything you lose ends up being a loss.
It is this lesson I had to relearn and implement...my new self needed reminding. I have a quiet strength that lies dormant most days, yet can be ferocious when called upon. I am amazed with myself when I look back at those dark days. They were rough, no doubt about it, and I still occasionally have bad days. So on those bad days I remind myself that I've endured worse, and that version of me was able to pull her shit together and keep going after a night full of tears, rage, or dwindling hope. After all, some people are destroyed within the flames, and others are created by it.
We have all hurt someone tremendously, whether by intent or by accident. We have all loved someone tremendously, whether by intent or by accident. It is an intrinsic human trait, and a deep responsibility, I think, to be both a heart and a blade. But, learning to forgive ourselves and others because we have not chosen wisely is what makes us most human. We make horrible mistakes...its how we learn. We breathe love...its how we learn. I was the type of person who held onto things too tightly, unable to release my grip when it no longer felt right. And although it gave me blisters and my fingers began to ache, I always thought that holding on was the was worth the pain. I used to think that in losing things, I'd lose a part of me as well. That slowly I would become someone my heart no longer recognized. Then one day something happened, I dropped the weight of what I had once held dear, and my soul became lighter, freer. It taught my heart that some things aren't meant to last. They arrive to teach you lessons and then continue on. You don't have to cling to people who no longer make you happy or do something you've come to hate if it isn't worth your while. That sometimes the thing you're fighting for isn't worth the cost because not everything you lose ends up being a loss.
It is this lesson I had to relearn and implement...my new self needed reminding. I have a quiet strength that lies dormant most days, yet can be ferocious when called upon. I am amazed with myself when I look back at those dark days. They were rough, no doubt about it, and I still occasionally have bad days. So on those bad days I remind myself that I've endured worse, and that version of me was able to pull her shit together and keep going after a night full of tears, rage, or dwindling hope. After all, some people are destroyed within the flames, and others are created by it.
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