A Spontaneous Moment That Turned Out Fantastic...
If you were to ask friends and family to describe me, I'm convinced many adjectives would be used...funny, kind, generous, quirky, total badass. However, spontaneous would not be one of them. I'm a planner. I like it. I'm more comfortable, less anxious, when a plan is in place, even if that plan consists of only meeting up at a certain time on a certain day. So spontaneity is definitely not a strength...never will be and I'm ok with that.
I started dating again earlier this year. It has been interesting to say the least. I've never been a serial dater so I feel like such the novice, and I have a somewhat unrealistic view of how the dating world works. You meet. Talk for a bit, see if going out is really what you want to do. Make plans. Go on date. Simple right?! I've learned its totally not. It's like the exact opposite.
My approach to dating could be described as methodical, in a non-serial killer type of way. So when I met a guy over a month ago, it started the same way. The logical way. The safe way. We started talking on a Thursday, a few exchanges here and there. The next day we were talking and he mentioned he was going out that night with friends and said that it was a shame I didn't have a sitter because I could go with them. My daughter was actually going to her dad's for the weekend...so when I passed that information along, he pressed the issue of meeting up that night.
Instant sweating. Partial brain function went all full-stop on me. This wasn't how I normally did things. We have only been talking for like a day! I don't just make plans like this the same day! Calm down with the crazy talk mister! I put him off with the whole, "I don't know. Let me get back to you after lunch because the control freak in me is having a major meltdown and Imma need to take a minute to process your request."
*Part of that was said internally*
So I talked myself down off the ledge, made some very compelling arguments to myself I might add, and agreed to go out with him that night to watch a production put on by a community theater group. It was actually something that I've been wanting to do for years...so I rationalized my consent in part due to the fact that even if the date tanked, I would be doing something I've had a real desire to experience. I was such a mess. The methodology I normally use when preparing for a date was not an option. I was forgetting stuff, totally unfocused, and still sweating...and I don't mean in the figurative sense.
The hour had arrived and my nerves were shot. Due to me having to drop my daughter with her dad, we agreed to just meet up at the theater. When I rounded the corner and saw him, I had this weird internal shift. It was unfamiliar and unexpected. I know that doesn't make much sense but its sometimes hard for me to translate certain feelings/emotions/reactions. He has this really great smile, one you can't help but smile back at. He made me feel comfortable with an easy-going nature and quickness to laugh. I knew after about 5 minutes this was going to be a fantastic date...and it was.
I can honestly say it was the best date I've ever been on in my life. The play was hilarious and the company was amazing. Even though I was meeting every single one of them for the first time, I engaged myself in conversations and just kind of let go of any "first date protocols" I had been following. I had fun...I allowed myself to open up a bit more and have honest to God fun on this spur of the moment group date with complete strangers. I never thought the day I would do something like that would ever arrive because that is sooo not my nature. I am not that person. I'm proud I did something that made me uncomfortable and slightly neurotic because it ended up being one of the best nights I've had in years.
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