Something In My Life That Gives Me Balance...
*Sorry for the lapse in posting, I have been battling a killer sinus infection for, almost, 2 weeks. There has been an area-wide epidemic ravaging everyone around. My daughter had tonsillitis, people are contracting strep, and God knows what else is compromising immune systems all over town. I am so over this cold-ass weather and the rampant sickness. Bring on the Spring allergy season!*
I have absolutely no idea what balances me out...maybe as I write, something will come to me. I'm not into yoga or any exercise really. I don't have weekly vent sessions dinners with my girlfriends. I don't have a husband/boyfriend/partner to act as a soundboard, a calming agent. Saying my daughter balances me is kind of a no-brainer....because, on many levels, she does. I'm a mom so that's a given. I love the fact that after a day filled with phone calls & expense reports, I get to go home and create with her...imagine with her. It doesn't matter that I got so frustrated at work, that I was nearly brought to tears, because when I get home all that falls away & her and I are now princess unicorns chasing rainbows.
I don't really have many hobbies, which in my opinion, are one way to balance one's life. I read. I watch movies. Maybe that is very telling, considering those two things are forms of escapism. What I mean is, when people turn to fictional worlds, fictional people, its often because they want to escape. These stories shelter us from the storm that is our daily lives; they save us, if only for a little while. But when we really give in, become invested, let ourselves be vulnerable, something shifts. We feel like we know them or can relate. Its no longer just a way to escape a shitty day, it becomes a part of us, it makes us who we are.
These characters teach us that incredible adversity can be overcome. That our struggles are not singular or unique, we are not solitary in our suffering. That people can in fact love each other forever. That life can be an adventure. That magic, through various guises, can be real. And even if these miracles have never happened to us, we begin to go through life believing that, someday, they could.
Getting lost in books helps me. It calms me. Its makes me happy & gives me an outlet. It balances. I don't expect people to understand the logic or understand how books accomplish that task. With struggles at work, family dysfunction drama, and personal matters, diving into a story allows me separation that I may not manage on my own...I tend to obsess if left without a distraction. I think we write down or create made-up stories to tell truths that we are too afraid to speak, unable to rationalize. The same can be said about those who turn to stories for aid.
Life is gritty, dark, painful, unforgiving & unjust. It is rife with broken people hurting others to lessen their own pain. It is also serendipitous, inspiring, full of hope, opportunity, knowledge, & beauty. So when my life takes a turn for the former, I reach for a novel or two. Life truly is a balancing act and without books, I fear I would, not only be ill-equipped, but at a huge disadvantage when faced with what Life throws at me.
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