Deep Thoughts...Not With Jack Handy

I recently posed a question to a very dear friend of mine.  I trust her wisdom because she once dispelled some delusions I had concerning the current state of my life.  It was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time.

 I don't normally engage in deep, heavy topics with friends.  Not because I think them not my equal, but because I have always held back my inner thoughts out of misplaced fear.  I feared that people didn't want to explore shit like that, have those types of conversations.  I can honestly say that not one of my friends have ever broached subject matter of a existential nature or the like.  Religion & politics sometimes, but mostly conversations steer clear of any topic that contains a philosophical basis.

I know what you are thinking, and NO...I'm not emo.

I don't sit around writing dark poetry by candlelight.
I don't overuse black eyeliner and smoke clove cigarettes.

My thoughts are just, sometimes, more.  Yesterday was an instance of that.  I asked my friend if she believed in soul mates.  She said she did, and her and I are in agreement.  I then went a bit further and asked her if she thought that soul mates and true loves are one in the same.  Her answer, to be honest, surprised me a bit.  Her and I share a similar cynical streak.  Here was her answer:

"I don't think they are always the same person-but can be.  I believe you can find someone you are truly in love with, but for some reason things don't work.  I believe you can find your soul mate, but things still don't work.  Or, you are part of the very few elite who find their soul mate and their true love in one person.  Some people go their whole life only finding one or the other or neither."

I didn't take a multi-person survey or anything, but I think it's safe to say that many out there believe the same as my friend.  I bet even more believe that the two are mutually exclusive.  I, however, believe they are entirely two different people, never residing in the same body.

I think soul mates are widely believed by hopeless romantics to be those people who "complete" us in a blissful, Disney-ending type way.  Meeting our soul mates is like being resuscitated, brought to life in a flash of brilliance.  Recognizing that they are meant for us is like being seen after a perpetual darkness; heard after a lifetime of silence.  Losing one's soul mate is like hearing every good-bye, reliving each heart-break, suffering a lifetime of loss all at the same time.

I have been prone to harbor hopeless romantic sentiments from time to time, but I think the opposite when it comes to soul mates.  The only thing that we, romantics and myself, share is the belief that soul mates bring change.

Soul mates are nothing more than catalysts.

I believe soul mates act as a mirror.  They reflect the raw, real, honest you.  The you that is hidden or undiscovered.  They show all the things holding you back from reaching your ultimate best self.  They expose your short-comings and trespasses.  They reflect your truth.

I believe a soul mate is the most important person you will ever meet.

They tear us down, strip our masks away, and deflate egos.

Soul mates in my opinion are those that enter our lives simply to annihilate delusions.  Soul mates break our hearts so new light may enter.  They tear us down in order for us to rebuild better versions of ourselves out of utter desperation & destruction.  Living with soul mates is too painful and that relationship is not one for longevity.  Soul mates are meant to enter our lives, shake things up, then leave.

I do believe I can check "discover soul mate" off my list.