Sunday, December 22, 2013

Blog Challenge Day 18: A Problem I've Had

Well apparently I've had a problem keeping up with this blog…


That's not what I am going to talk about though, because that would be boring.  Instead, I guess I'm going to tell you that the problem I have, that I hate the most, is that I always manage to get emotionally involved way to fast…in regards to guys.

We could sit here and psychologically analyze that problem all day, but I would really rather not.  I have a feeling I know what prompts me to do this, where this problem stems from, but I don't want to explore that today, or ever.  Far more times than I would like to count, I have found myself investing my emotions in men only to get disappointed and marginally heartbroken.  Now that I have my daughter and am newly single again, I know that I cannot be the same woman in any future relationships.

I am committed to rectifying this problem because I want to set a better example for my daughter.  I want her to see me as a strong, independent woman full of self-respect who loves herself first.  A woman that does need a man, any man, to feel whole & loved.  I do not want a string of men running through her life, because, psychologically, that could do irreparable damage.

I love to love...in all its forms.  I possess genuine kindness and compassion for those close to me.  It has gotten me quite a bit of heartache in the past, but I would rather deal with a bit of pain than shut myself off.  I've been emotionally slutty and that must stop.  I've learned quite a bit about myself in the past 2 or so years, and I am very different in many ways.  I value myself more.  I love myself more.  I deserve more than cheap flattery and empty adoration.  I will not settle or be blinded, not anymore.

I want my daughter to love herself and know her value prior to getting involved romantically.  But ultimately,  I want her to know that a strong sense of self-worth and romantic relationships are not mutually exclusive.  In order for her to know that, understand it, I believe it starts with the example I set.

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