I have had body-image issues my whole life. I led a very active life, playing 4 sports and eating healthy-ish, but I still never loved my body. I didn't exactly hate it though either. I guess I just had self-confidence issues that I labelled body-image issues because it was easier to bitch about my less-than flat stomach than address the core problem…I didn't think very highly of myself.
And, it is hard. So damn hard when we are constantly inundated by mainstream imagery of gorgeous women with itty-bitty waists, perfect bone structure, shiny, bouncy hair & always impeccably dressed. I fall victim to envy all the time. As I've aged, however, I am less susceptible to it lingering and ruling my thoughts. I guess I've learned the value of a person isn't/shouldn't be based by our outward appearances. It's good to take pride in oneself. It's good to dress-up and wear lipgloss now and then. But if all you have is good looks and a fantastic wardrobe, I think that makes for quite the dull person. Perfection does get weary.
As of right now, I have a love-hate relationship with my body. I get told all the time that I'm too thin and I need to eat more cheeseburgers. Well, I am thin. I am almost 5'9" and have always been somewhat thin. The way I'm built, I will never have curves unless I go and buy some. I am ok with that, I embrace it even. I don't need double d's and a Kardashian ass to feel good about myself. I've had a kid, and that has taken a toll on my body. Some days I look at my stretch marks, loose skin, wider hips & post-baby boobs and kind of get sad. It doesn't last long though. I look at my daughter and realize that each stretch mark, that skin that didn't quite tighten back up, is totally worth it. Each mark is a reminder that I created life. Each breath she took, every kick & roll, every hiccup, and every beat of her heart was worth it, and if I have to have tiger stripes and less-than-perky boobs, I am content with paying that price. I'm far from perfect. I could have a flatter stomach, clearer skin, whiter teeth, better hair, etc. But, at least I don't have an ugly heart.
It really doesn't make sense to call ourselves ugly, because we don't really see ourselves. We don't watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm. We don't see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing. You don't see yourself looking at someone with love & care inside your heart. There's no mirror in your way when you're laughing & smiling & happiness is leaking out of you. You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself. You are not your bra-size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the slenderness of your calves. You are not your hair color, your skin color, nor are you a shade of lipstick. You are not defined by the amount of attention you get from males, females, or any combination thereof. You are not the number of sit-ups you can do, nor are you the number of calories you consume. You are not your mustache. You are not the hair on your legs. You are not a little black dress. You are no amalgam of these things.
You are the content of your character. You are the ambitions that drive you. You are the goals that you set. You are the things you laugh at and the words that you say. You are the thoughts you think and the things you wonder. You are beautiful and desirable not for friends you surround yourself with, but for the spark of life within you that compels you to make your life a full and meaningful one. You are beautiful not for the shape of the vessel, but the for the volume of the soul it carries. And, you know what's really appealing, powerfully sexy? *Personal opinion of course* A sense of humor. A taste for adventure. A healthy glow. Hips to grab on to. Openness. Confidence. Humility. Appetite. Intuition. Smart-ass comebacks. Presence. A quick wit. Dirty jokes told by innocent-looking people.
So as hard as it is, we must start to love ourselves first. If we don't love who we are, there will always be a void within that no amount of make-up, work-outs, plastic surgery, or designer clothes will ever fill.
I stumbled across this video sometime ago and have seen it pop up on my FaceBook news feed a couple times. I can honestly say that I have never watched a movie, television show, or video that has impacted me more than this one. It is extremely powerful & very profound & I encourage all women to take 6 minutes out of your day and watch it. I'm glad I did.
Watch it Here:
Watch it Here:
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